I'm out like trout!

Last night we made the two hour drive to Rach Gia to get the rest of the team from the airport. Finally, we’re all together. I feel really good about it all. Everyone seems to be getting along pretty well and there doesn’t seem to be any weird personality conflicts yet. Tomorrow we will be pushing out to the site so these entries will probably stop for a while. I "plan" to keep up with them on my laptop and post in mass when we come back to town for resupply. But we'll see how those intentions turn out. ;)

One of the guys on the team is a mortuary affairs guy and we were talking about all of our deployment experiences. He was talking about the challenges of processing the personal effects of friends. It seemed to weigh very heavy on him. And of course that stirs up all sorts of crap for me. Here’s something that’s been bothering me: Brenda called me a few months ago to tell me that Adam hadn’t come back home all at once. I just cannot fathom how it happened. How in the hell do you lose part of someone?? Brenda was under the assumption that they had found part of him in the truck but I know that’s not really possible. I didn’t do it personally (for obvious reasons), but I know that vehicle was cleaned out for equipment and that our guys had to clean up what was left. I’m so disturbed by the whole situation. It was such a big deal to load them onto the plane. And I think it meant a lot to all of us that their team was together in their departure (I know that doesn’t sound right, but if you were there you would know what I’m saying). I’m so mad to know that something was forgotten. I just wish I understood how it happened. Mostly, I’m so sad for his wife. When they brought the second part of his remains home, they exhumed the body so he could be all back together. They also held another mini-funeral when they reburied him. How many times does she have to go through this? And what a horrible reminder of how violent his death was.

Of course death is the big topic of my life right now. It’s hard to believe what lengths, both financial and physical, we’re willing to go to in this mission. But there’s no doubt in my mind that this is worth whatever it takes. I’m so disgusted to know that any part of Adam stayed in that crap-hole country for one second longer than it had to. I can only imagine what the last forty years have been like for these families.