There’s something about the intensity of the stars out here that stops me in my tracks. To see something so fabulous without any of the filters of city lights is phenomenal.
My quasi relationship has certainly come to a close and all this time in the field listening for little beeps has given me a lot of time to reflect on it all. Since coming back from deployment I have had the most ridiculous string of failed relationships. I have certainly been rejected more in the last five months than the rest of my adult life combined. It makes me wonder how I am contributing to this entire situation. All three relationships have started and ended the same. Each one began with so much hope and passion. Of course each one ended with the same sudden stop of phone calls. What is that about? I think everyone has a checklist that is based on past relationship failures. All future woo-ers will have to sign an affidavit swearing that they will not end the relationship by suddenly ceasing contact without explanation or warning. says, "you’re a loon and I’d rather bone some other chick" or maybe he could hire a singing telegram to launch into Get Out by JoJo. Or perhaps he could use that funny looking and sometimes smelling mechanism on the front of his face for something other than a Sonic cheeseburger disposal unit.
But what I was trying to get to was the one tidbit of wisdom this wonderful opportunity has provided me with. The first guy taught me that I shouldn’t have my heart so walled up. The next guy taught me nothing because guy number 3 came along too quickly for me to really give a damn. At first guy number 3 taught me that I need to be realistic and guard my heart again. But after thinking about it, I’ve changed my mind. I’m choosing to learn nothing from any of these situations. It turns out that sometimes relationships end because the guy was a total jerk off and frankly that’s just the end of it. I walk into these relationships with an open heart and automatic trust. It’s naïve and causes me to get hurt a lot, but I just don’t really care. One of these times I’m going to finally run into someone who isn’t a total idiot and I don’t want to miss the chance because I’m too untrusting after dealing with all these morons. Besides, statistically one has got to come along before too long :)
Sunday, March 9, 2008
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3 comments:
Me thinks that you now have probability on your side!
But, then again, maybe not! You are rapidly entering the realm of being simply too awesome, and the pool of available men that can provide a suitable match is getting to be a very, very small .... sorta like a puddle after a quick rain. Hint (gleaned from years of experience).. If you work on being boring and needy --- presto --- you'll have an entire sea to swim in. LOVE, da momma
Wow! After reading all your blogs I am impressed with what my buddy has done with her life! And to think that guys are still jerks and the good ones are fewer and farther between the older we get! So, I would just being the great person you have become and if someone worthy of you comes along, you will know. (at least thats what I am hoping for as well, but I havent done a 32nd of what you have done with your life!). I miss you :(
E-L, I love you as always!!
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